Monday, February 26, 2007
it's not easy to walk the road of a true christian, a dedicated leader and a committed member. how many people actually set their priority to not become a sunday christian? or a pew warmer? these few weeks have been really tough because suddenly, i just found myself being very lost. i wondered why i was dedicating my life so early to build my 12, to attend SOL classes, to serve in dance and touchkids, to help out with service learning. looking at my own g12 cell group, i was very absolute in concluding that my sisters aren't able to support me spiritually and i somehow felt like i was being pulled down instead. sometimes, i really really wanted to quit.
all these negative thoughts started running through my head in the recent weeks because i suddenly felt like everything that i was doing would amount to nothing tangible. all of my expectations were not reached and disappointment sums it all. Yes i know i set high standards for everything that i do. In school, studies, hall, the musical, church etc.. but not one of them came close to meeting my expectations. Take the musical for example. i thought that i would really enjoy myself composing and doing something different. but the organisation of it was so bad that there was a point where i even wanted to give up. i think that that shocked me alot because i've never been someone who quits so easily.
yesterday's sermon was powerful. to me. i felt so convicted when pastor khong asked us where we would be in ten years time. He continued saying that perhaps, most of the youths would no longer be sitting in hall 10 listening to him, it would be a precipitous percentage of us leaving the church when something goes wrong. we face struggles and failures everyday; how many of us are willing to persevere through these problems? i came home to reflect and asked myself if i would still be in fcbc ten years from now. yes i may have been here for the past 20 years, going to church is somehow a very essential part of my lifestyle but would i shrink back and be that 'sunday christian'?
thank God that He always speaks to us when we most need Him. I've been reading this book called The Remarkable Prayers of the Bible and one of the characters was Abraham. God really revealed to me that we don't have to pretend that we are so strong all the time; there were times when Abraham made mistakes too. But i learnt that Abraham was a man of FAITH. he believed in the promises of God and he was an intecessor. What really struck me as i was reading the book was this paragraph:
"But Abraham didn't have the indwelling Spirit. And he didn't have the bible. And there were no counselors. So Abraham went through life relying totally on his relationship with God.. Having only God was all Abraham needed! To him, prayer was as natural as talking with a friend or counselor. And on many occasions God, like a friend or counselor, answered Abraham's prayers verbally..."
now that we have the holy spirit, the bible and our own personal walk with God, shouldn't our faith be stregthened? shouldn't we be able to rise up to the occasion everytime our faith is being tested? definitely not easy, but prayer will help us make the right choices as we seek God's wisdom. therefore, my application for this week, " sit tight, walk right, stand up and fight" :) amen.
TURN YOUR EYES UPON JESUS
2:11 PM
